You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don't Take

(Attributed to Wayne Gretzky — and yes, I actually had to look that up. What the puck?)

You've probably heard it a hundred times. But have you actually really thought about it? Lately? Be honest.

I have. And it hit differently this time.

I've spent the last year and a half heads down, executing, delivering, building. Serious, rigorous, focused work I'm genuinely proud of. But somewhere in the middle of all that executing, I stopped taking swings. Not because I was afraid. Because I was busy. There's a difference, but the result is the same. I didn't take the shots. Honestly, I actually forgot about the shots.

This article is about that moment of reckoning. And about changing that. And about a framework that helped me think about it differently.

Meet your cast of characters

Get this. We are not one person. Yes, you read that correctly. We are not one person.

I can be super goofy and wildly creative. I can also be serious, logical, and exacting. Charismatic and bold. Messy and hyper organized. Cautious and careful. Full of grit and go — with a fair share of I don't give a sh*t about X or Y, let's book that flight on miles and wing it, right alongside "that arugula garnish is not set straight on that plated meal". These aren't contradictions. They're a cast of characters, each with their own energy, aura, instincts, and agenda.

You have them too. You'd likely describe yours differently. Feel better about yourself already, huh? ;)

Image of plated food with garnish from FreePik.com

The forest

Picture this. You're in a forest at night with four or five people. You're not sure where you're going. Maybe you're lost, maybe not. There's a difference!

Someone says: This way, to the right. Another says: No, that way, left. A third sits down and says: Let's eat something first. The fourth says: Let's just go to the bar!

Which one are you?

Or, more likely, which one shows up depending on the day, the stakes, the situation?

Does it differ if you're with your family in Hawaii? Your friends in New York City? Your colleagues in a cornfield studying farmers who own John Deere tractors in the middle of nowhere?

This is my take on Keiko Tokuda's framing, from a quick exercise we did together called the Inner Leader. It stopped me cold because I recognized every single one of those people in myself. And I realized that which character leads matters enormously — especially when you're stuck.

The Inner Leader exercise

My quick summary — Keiko would likely explain it a bit differently.

Think about the 3-5 people — real or imagined, living or not — who help you move forward when you're stuck. Your personal board of unstuck-ers.

They might be bold where you're hesitant. Creative, where you're logical. Steady, where you're scattered.

Close your eyes. Pick something you're genuinely stuck on. Something that matters. Now let each person on your personal board of unstuck-ers speak.

What would they say?

What would they do?

You already know — that's the point.

You just haven't listened yet.

What I'm working on

Here's what I ran this exercise on recently.

Putting myself out there more.

Here's a real one. I stopped posting on LinkedIn.

Not dramatically. Not intentionally. It just... stopped. The ideas that used to wake me up at 2am weren't coming anymore. Posting started to feel like a slog. The onslaught of AI-generated content was grossing me out, and the relentless stream of layoff announcements was making me genuinely sad.

So I quietly put the bat down.

And then I heard that phrase from my friend Priscilla (who I sometimes text to make sure she's eaten lunch). "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

It cracked something open.

Who are you actually doing it for? Not the algorithm. Not the engagement metrics. For the people who are quietly reading and never commenting. For the ones who hit reply on this newsletter. For the curious, the builders, the people figuring it out in real time — researchers, designers, product folks, entrepreneurs, parents, city dwellers, wonderlusters, question askers, creators, writers, doers — just like me. LinkedIn is how I stay connected to a boatload of people I genuinely care about and want to stay in touch with. Writing helps me work through things, too. Putting words down, even imperfect ones, is how I make sense of what I'm thinking.

So last month, I picked the bat back up!

Your turn

What are you stuck on right now? Which character in your forest is doing the talking? And what does your personal board of unstuck-ers say?

Please hit reply and share! I'd genuinely love to know — and I mean that. Hearing from you, getting your feedback, knowing what's resonating and what isn't — it actually helps me. A lot.

I'm taking a big swing next week.

Beta testing this week. More to come. Stay tuned!

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We try to alternate between a theme and Insights/UX/UXR jobs, events, classes, articles, and other happenings every so often. Thank you for all of the feedback. Feedback is a gift, and we continue to receive very actionable input on how to make Fuel Your Curiosity more meaningful to you.

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Stay curious,

- Michele and the Curiosity Tank team

You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don’t Take